My favorite springtime song is ‘Here comes the sun’ by The Beatles. It reminds me of the warmer rain and freshly grown grass with a side of pew-pew birds―pew-pew birds are a type of bird that I have yet to identify in my area that sound like Star Wars ray guns when they chirp.
Springtime brings along little buds. Springtime is for renewal, rebirth after a long winter. I live in an area where winter lasts nearly six months so when spring starts showing up, I get tingly as if ants were crawling up my legs. I have to clean! Yeah, I’m one of those people. The thing is, I feel lighter after every bit of cleaning. Just today, I took care of the linen closet to rid it of double-sized blankets since my new bed will be queen sized.
Thing is, I didn’t wait for spring to start. In the dead of winter, I dove right in. Every closet, every drawer, and every cupboard was raided, rid of useless things, and put back in order. I gave away a ton of clothes, shredded old bills. This year, I’m one of the many that discovered the KonMari method by Marie Kondo, Thank you, Netflix. With Marie’s help, I let go of what didn’t spark joy for me and trust me, there was a lot. I spent a huge amount of time learning to fold my clothes as she does. But that was a failure. I still haven’t taken that habit. As long as I know what the piece of clothing is, I don’t really care if it’s folded in two or three. The good thing is I only kept what I wear and what I feel comfortable in.
But I found a lot of things while digging through my stuff, some unwanted. Old pictures, high school letters I used to pass to friends in class. A lot of those things were more painful than bringing good memories. Add that to a slight depressive bout last fall, I decided it was time to clean up some more but differently.
So, I went the extra mile. I’ve started a new therapy to clean my mind up. Having a clean home is one thing but carrying around old trash isn’t all that good. I had tried therapy last year and it hadn’t worked out well. Instead of proper help and ideas to reflect on, I got lessons on anxiety and panic. That’s not what I needed. My new therapist is amazing. She’s the one moving around cobwebs and old full drawers but I’m the one that has to grab the Lysol and wipe. And scrub. And wipe again. It’s when someone else―a professional―tells you that you realize how much crap you carry around, especially the old stuff. Let me tell you that since early March, I’ve been wiping and scrubbing so much, my soul is raw but it’s the best thing to do for myself, just as much as cleaning my apartment.
I can hear some of you from here; “I don’t want to do that, it doesn’t help, I don’t know that person.” Yep, I know. I fought this for years. Fifteen years to be exact. What was the use of going into a stranger’s office to air out dirty laundry and crying my eyeballs out when I could do it in the comfort of my own home? Well, it turns out it helps a lot. Someone who has an objective view of you and your life is much more helpful than the people that you already know. And it helps that they have useful advice to get through your personal crap.
Marie Kondo helped with my home and now I’m helping myself. What are you doing this spring?
Pawns: Every Family Has Its Secrets
When Lena Bennett loses her father, she has to take over the family business. But with the business comes secrets. Deadly secrets.
What can she do when she's backed into a corner with no one to turn to?
About CM Peters
CM Peters would like to be ageless but hasn’t found the fountain of youth just yet. She works in the communications field but her true passion is writing. She hails from Québec and has been back at writing regularly after a long break since college. An eclectic writer, CM is equally at home penning short erotica, quality fanfiction, and elaborate sci-fi and fantasy novels. Whatever genre she is working in, CM always centers her stories around complex, relatable characters. At the moment, she's hard at work on a new novel while preparing another for publication. She’s been published in erotica and romance anthologies, a collaborative book with Gallery Books, and co-edited a few anthologies, one coming in 2019. If she's not furiously typing, you'll surely find her with her eyes staring at the chocolate-brown beam in her living room to organize her next outline before putting it down on paper.